A tale as old as time 

I have a great oppportunity. I have an “earwax flavored wine” brewing facility. It’s one of a kind, literally, it’s the only one in the world. Now, my sales are abysmal. It seems no one wants to actually purchase my earwax flavored wines. But I really like selling it.  I have been making it my whole life, and feel extremely, genuinely, passionate about my business.

A few notes, before I get to my pitch. My business has no value in and of itself. All my equipment and buildings are leased. My inventory is all spoilable supplies with no longevity. It’s an expensive business to set up, even more to operate, and I have invested a lot of money.  The only value my business can have lies in it’s future stream of sales revenue; Goodwill basically. And boy, does my business ever have goodwill!! Tonnes of it. Just because I have never been able to sell my earwax flavored wines doesn’t mean that big big big sales aren’t just right around the corner!

So here’s my problem, and therefore YOUR opportunity!

I have lost a LOT of money, and can’t really afford to keep losing money until the BIG PAYDAY arrives. So here is what I am thinking: YOU go ahead and BUY this SUPER AWESOME business from me right now for, like, a LOT of money. Then YOU lose money annually. But then of course, it’s all gravy!  Of course, when the day comes that you can make a profit, you’ll be laughing at me for selling this business. I mean, it’s a goldmine alright. A veritable … BEAST of a deal, you might say!

But for now, and for the foreseeable future, it’s all yours!

I’ll just go ahead and have my lawyers draw up the paperwork.

Now, does it make any more sense if I call it a “hockey team” instead of an “earwax flavored wine factory”?  If so, I have a swamp in Florida that’s for sale too.

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